Something about a name

What is about when someone says your name that makes it feel so good and warm?  Okay I admit its not always the feeling I get especially when mother shrieks it and I can feel impending doom drifting closer but for the most part I just love it when someone says my name.  Most days I feel like number, at school, at work and at home.  Every day just by walking around we are part of a number.  Whether its a statistic in how many people walked into a store that day, or what member of the bank you are, you are a number to everyone outside of your immediate groups.  Everywhere we go we are taking numbers or becoming numbers.  Sure my drivers license has my name on it but how do they "KNOW me, well my drivers license number".  Even at work it would be impossible to learn everyones names so they are given a number and a bar code.  So when someone truly knows me and acknowledges that they call you by name.  It reminds me of the scriptures when it talks about how our heavenly father loves us and knows us each by name.  I wonder about how good it is going to feel when he calls us each by name to be near to him.  It must be similar to when a dear friend says your name or when my grandma calls me on the phone and asks how her little "BRI-ANNY" is doing.  There is just something when a friend says your name that lights up the day.  I'm so thankful we are given names at birth and don't go around calling each other by our social security numbers because there is something magical about a name!

IRONY or COINCIDENCE

I've never really understood the deference between irony and coincidence, especially when it occurs in my own life.  Websters defines IRONY as follows "a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated" and COINCIDENCE as "the condition or fact of coinciding"

So now I am wondering if my job is IRONIC or COINCIDENTAL. In fifth grade, a few kids from every class were selected to be "LIBRARY AIDES"  of course at the time getting to miss silent reading time/lunch recess (When you're the oldest kids in the school recess isn't much fun anymore)... was really cool and all the kids wanted to be part of that experience.  Well I was one of the lucky kids selected.  It didn't take me more than about a month to realize that putting away books during recess was lame.  It didn't hurt that I was forced to shelve with Mitchell a gross kid who was one of the only kids about to beat me on most of my test scores or grades.  It really bothered me.  Additionally, there were never any rewards for doing it.  Doing what most kids would do I wanted to maximize my rewards will minimizing my losses.  I didn't want to give up my new acclaimed status, but I also wanted to get to go to lunch recess instead of being forced to stay in a wretched  library with the bag of a librarian. So I shoved the books on the shelves making it "APPEAR" like I was doing my job, and then run to recess.  Naively I thought that the old lady would never find me out.  It took 3 days.  I knew something was mysterious when she had set up donuts and chocolate milk for us.  As we ate the donuts she gave us about the worst guilt trip I have ever received.  It felt horrible because I knew it was all my fault the books weren't being put away and the shelves were all tumbling down.  In the end I didn't quit, and learned to have a little better work ethic.  Although I vowed never to work in a library again.

About 6 years later I applied for a position at my local library.  In August I'll have been working there for 3 years.  I've learned to love the people I work with and straightening the shelves.  Today at work I spent an hour and a half "shelf reading" (it involves making sure all the books are in perfect alignment and order).  I've come to like the quiet thinking time when you shelve books and I'm working on liking the public who seem to "never" turn in books late and always end up with a fine.  I love it here.  So now looking back I'm wondering is my story IRONIC? or COINCIDENTAL? This is a time someone with an English major might just come in handy.

Forget you Aladdin, I'm running off with the GENIE

If you're anything like me you dread when you see a long time friend and they ask you whats new in your life, who are you dating, and how are things going?
Honestly, I wish that I could validate white lying because I sure wish I could say:
OH I'm doing so awesome, I love my singles ward, and I met my really beautiful boyfriend Trevor there he's pre-med and I'm pre-pharm so we make a perfect couple.  I'm just enjoying my summer and loving life.

Instead it usually goes like this:
Oh I'm doing pretty well.  I'm not really dating anyone but I love school and I'm really focused on that right now.  I'm majoring in Chemistry and browsing possible grad school options...but for the summer I'm filling my time with lots of fun "STUFF" and working about as much as I can...(here stuff means exercising, WII tennis I want to be at pro level by the end of the summer, and catching up on GREYS, PSYCH, and my new show BODY OF PROOF).  I really despise this answer but for now its the best I can do.  The things I leave out are as follows
1. I haven't yet tried my singles ward (maybe today is the day).
2. I haven't been on a date in months and I'm not exactly the kind of person who can easily become acquainted with another SO PLEASE DON'T ASK ME THAT QUESTION UNTIL 10 YEARS PASS
3. All the guys I've dated in the past 4.5 years I wouldn't marry so there are 0 prospects.  Once again refer to request in part 2.
4.  In a weird way I'm done with summer and I'd rather be at it at school again getting closer to my goal and not letting my focus waver.  School is tough but I had a good system down, now I have to start all over and break my bad habits like staying up way too late.
5. I'm BORED and work isn't enough to keep my brain satisfied.

Why am I freaking out again....well I think it all boils down to yesterday. I was a dateless Saturday, and I was babysitting at Tosha's house.  She has 3 beautiful kids who I adore, an amazing house, and thick amazing hair.  I know its weird to covet hair but if I could get those locks I might die from an unsafe attractiveness in hair level compared to the rest of my unattractiveness or I might die from happiness; its still a little unclear.  Anyways she just barely turned 30 and so there is about a 10.5 year gap between us.  Here I was watching her kids and thinking in 10 years this might really be my reality... THE KIDS, very possibly the house, but I don't think great hair is ever in my near future.  I was so scared thinking about having my own kiddos that to cope I looked up grad programs with a long 8 year commitment.  I guess I just don't know what I want yet and I am trying to keep all the windows open but the truth is I'm sick of waiting for Prince Charming for my future to start. So here I am sleepless at 12:38 in the morning wonder what do the next 10 years hold...will I be fresh out grad school, unwed and broke or a desperate housewife with 3+ kids and a minivan, where is that stupid genie with my 3 wishes or at the very least can I glimpse into a crystal ball? PLEASE?  I'm dying here!

Friday the THIRTEENTH

Okay so I'm not superstitious....well I might be a little stitious! I commonly find myself knocking on wood, fearing black cats, and dreading Friday the thirteenth, but not to the extent that I find myself debilitated by my superstitions.  So here are the three occurrences that have almost made me a firm believer in Friday the 13th.
1. At the Walmart check out my total was 9.99 the clerk mentioned it was odd blamed it on Friday the 13th and I proceeded to swipe my card.  20 minutes later and a visit from the general manager, they discovered my card was being rung up as a FOOD STAMPS CARD, ran it as debit and it was approved.
2. I was home alone and all of the sudden the fire alarms went off, I ran around the house looking for the "FIRE" because this time I wasn't burning the chow and there seemed to be no plausible reason for the alarm to go off then all of the sudden POOF it turned itself off. WEIRD HUH?
3. My little sister was invited to a birthday party I made a distasteful joke and suggested that it was not good luck to have a party on such a sketchy date...Well only a few hours into the party I got a phone call saying that my sister had possibly broken her leg and would need assistance.  Several hours later I loaded her into a car and took her the children's hospital where we found out that her ankle was sprained and broke. 
Yeah I'm thinking next Friday the 13th I'm spending in the bomb shelter out back JUST IN CASE!

Word of the Day

My first semester of college one of my VERY least favorite professors thought it would be a funny joke to give us a final on all of the big scary academic words he used throughout the semester.  Almost every kid in the class failed because honestly we didn't take that good of notes or we failed to recognize when he would purposefully use them because half of the English crap he was jamming down our throats went right on over our pore heads.  To be fair he did give us fair warning at the beginning of the semester but it was brutal.  I don't think I've seen that many red slashes on a paper.  Well it turned to to be an object lesson and extra credit was rewarded for the few words we did manage to get right.  I hardly ever fail anything so I took the lesson to heart, when you don't know a word LOOK IT UP just like Dr. Tanner said all semester!  If you don't your not going to ever learn it.  I suppose its all part of the socialization of college; you learn how to express yourself better and therefore your vocabulary expands and you sound more educated to people around you.  I knew deep down that I wanted to be better I wanted to be smarter and it bugged me how few college level words I did know, but I was a little puzzled on how I was going to increase my vocabulary without sitting down reading a giant dictionary day after day.  Well thats when I came across dictionary.com's word of the day and I LOVE it.  They email or text the word of the day to you each day.  Usually I take about 5 seconds to skim through it and read the definition.  Unlike some people who do word of the day very seriously, I don't purposefully try to awkwardly wedge the words in during my daily conversations but the words are usually fun and if anything I'm just trying to familiarize myself with new words and hopefully a better vocabulary will establish on its own. If you want to start getting word of the day visit the link posted, and you won't be sorry you did!

http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
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 What I'm Listening to:
 The Strokes- Under Cover of Darkness
Jaymay-Sea Green See Blue

Grandma like whoa

Forever and ever I'd always brag my grandparents up like some people brag up their animals/celebrities/accomplishments.  To me just having my grandparents for my grandparents was like winning the lottery.  Let me explain my grandma and grandpa take us on trips and know the ins and outs of our lives.  There really isn't a person I've dated that she hasn't heard about or a time that I was short on money where they haven't swept to my rescue and helped their starving college student afford a meal.  They have been to every dance recital graduation and steping stone.  Family parties just don't feel right without them.  They are just awesome! With about every fiber of my being I want to be a grandparent like them.  Well my parents decided to go off exploring the grand canyon and left me in the dust.  Unfortunately/fortunately I got stuck with the two younger siblings.  My grandma came to my rescue once again and we had just the most lovely morning together!  We went to IKEA just to get treats and we did no winding around the store forever.  Then we went to nordstrom rack in pursuit of a new summer purse.   I explained to her how sad I was to have to put back my new backpack away and not have a cute purse to throw my stuff into.  (Last summer a mouse ate through my absolute favorite purse from the Hara Krishna Temple.  It had vibrant elephants stitched all over the sides and was just beautiful.  Don't get the wrong idea my house is not some disgusting hoarders nest rampent with mice.  My room had flooded and one snuck in while the windows were open trying to air the room out.  I'm sure it smelt the insense that had been infused into the fabric at the temple and ate it for a tasty treat).  So after looking at 100-200 dollar models We went to Tai Pan and looked at the more realistic and affordable bags.  Purses are really an odd thing I had no idea you could buy some that had spikes, bedazzled rinestones, flowers, and they all weigh about 20 lbs before anything is inside of them.  I really hate spending money on something that can hold my....well...crap!  Essentially in design all bags hold the same purpose and it doesn't seem to make too much sense to me to have too many of them.  In total I now have 3.5.  One I bought in 7th grade, the mouse eaten one, my prom clutch, and now this one...the rest have been sent to the DI.  Not that I don't like to be a little flashy but my whole life I never fit in with the girls with designer handbags, that always smelled good and looked just right. So I found one that fit me and it was perfert!  I don't thing that any bag has ever made me any happier.    When I went to buy it my grandma got it for me just because which makes me love this piece of faux leather even more! I am so glad to have her for my grandma and its killing me having to waste 6 of my hours with her here at work! So here's to grandparents and how much I love them!
The Two Hundred Dollar Model

The flower model that weighed like 20 lbs

The biker model

My MODEL...Yep this one is the one I picked! Its kinda a plain jane bag but I'd like to think of it as earthy and classic!

The best dating advice

I've been reading the book the last lecture and I wanted to share what he wanted his little girl to know with you, because honestly it really is the best dating advice I've heard in a while.

"When it comes to men who are romatically interested in you, it's really simple.  Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do" Randy Pausch

Its simple and self explanatory but I felt like it deserved its own post!