Forget you Aladdin, I'm running off with the GENIE

If you're anything like me you dread when you see a long time friend and they ask you whats new in your life, who are you dating, and how are things going?
Honestly, I wish that I could validate white lying because I sure wish I could say:
OH I'm doing so awesome, I love my singles ward, and I met my really beautiful boyfriend Trevor there he's pre-med and I'm pre-pharm so we make a perfect couple.  I'm just enjoying my summer and loving life.

Instead it usually goes like this:
Oh I'm doing pretty well.  I'm not really dating anyone but I love school and I'm really focused on that right now.  I'm majoring in Chemistry and browsing possible grad school options...but for the summer I'm filling my time with lots of fun "STUFF" and working about as much as I can...(here stuff means exercising, WII tennis I want to be at pro level by the end of the summer, and catching up on GREYS, PSYCH, and my new show BODY OF PROOF).  I really despise this answer but for now its the best I can do.  The things I leave out are as follows
1. I haven't yet tried my singles ward (maybe today is the day).
2. I haven't been on a date in months and I'm not exactly the kind of person who can easily become acquainted with another SO PLEASE DON'T ASK ME THAT QUESTION UNTIL 10 YEARS PASS
3. All the guys I've dated in the past 4.5 years I wouldn't marry so there are 0 prospects.  Once again refer to request in part 2.
4.  In a weird way I'm done with summer and I'd rather be at it at school again getting closer to my goal and not letting my focus waver.  School is tough but I had a good system down, now I have to start all over and break my bad habits like staying up way too late.
5. I'm BORED and work isn't enough to keep my brain satisfied.

Why am I freaking out again....well I think it all boils down to yesterday. I was a dateless Saturday, and I was babysitting at Tosha's house.  She has 3 beautiful kids who I adore, an amazing house, and thick amazing hair.  I know its weird to covet hair but if I could get those locks I might die from an unsafe attractiveness in hair level compared to the rest of my unattractiveness or I might die from happiness; its still a little unclear.  Anyways she just barely turned 30 and so there is about a 10.5 year gap between us.  Here I was watching her kids and thinking in 10 years this might really be my reality... THE KIDS, very possibly the house, but I don't think great hair is ever in my near future.  I was so scared thinking about having my own kiddos that to cope I looked up grad programs with a long 8 year commitment.  I guess I just don't know what I want yet and I am trying to keep all the windows open but the truth is I'm sick of waiting for Prince Charming for my future to start. So here I am sleepless at 12:38 in the morning wonder what do the next 10 years hold...will I be fresh out grad school, unwed and broke or a desperate housewife with 3+ kids and a minivan, where is that stupid genie with my 3 wishes or at the very least can I glimpse into a crystal ball? PLEASE?  I'm dying here!

Just another day in paradise

Maybe its the fact that its Friday, or maybe that I only have 4 days left of school, or maybe that I listened to a large amount of country music to and from school today, or perhaps its the extra vitamin D from the sun....but I AM SO HAPPY TODAY! Happy Friday!
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On an other note I wanted to share something I learned in class today.  I tried to find the research article but I wasn't able to so you'll have to bear my crude summary.  Basically researchers wanted to determine the  effect of failure on achieving a goal.  They gathered 5 gorillas and placed them in a room, in the center of the room there was a tall pole with a big bowl of fruit on the top.  This is a task that gorillas can easily accomplish, but when the gorillas were close to obtaining the fruit they were blasted with a water cannon until they retreated back down the pole.  For about a week the gorillas tried and failed to obtain the fruit and they eventually gave up.  At this point they took one of the five gorillas out the the group and replaced him with a gorilla that had never tried to obtain the fruit from the pole.  He had no fear or previous knowledge of the groups failure to obtain the fruit, so he did what every monkey would do and tried to climb the pole to get the tempting fruit.  The monkey began to climb the pole, and was unable to get the fruit, but not because of the water cannon, the other monkeys in the group pulled him down and beat him for trying to get the fruit. One by one they replaced the monkeys until none of the original group remained, and still not a single gorilla was able to get the fruit because the group kept holding them back.  It was a funny phenomenon because none of these gorillas had ever been blasted by the water cannon, yet they quickly learned that the group was set on failure and no one was allowed to break this group norm.  So now I bet you are wondering why I bothered to share this story at all and the relevance.  Well my professor equated it to choosing a major if you are set on allowing the group norm to hold you down and discourage you, you are never going to succeed.  Sometimes there are going to be water cannons that will blast you down but the truth is I'd rather be sopping wet with a full tummy of fruit than sopping wet and no fruit, so no matter what I've gotta try to achieve my goals no matter how scary or impossible they seem.  Failure is not the answer! So I think its safe to say that I'm going to keep working towards a bachelors in Chemistry, I'm not sure where its going to lead me quite yet, but I hope I enjoy the journey despite the unknown.
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What I'm Listening To: 
The Blow-True Affection
Cake- Love you Madly

P.S. Did you find my secret surprise! I love it!

Why I am staying in college

Every time I get the school blues I look at a picture like this one...and then I know why I'm staying in school.  School can be rough, but I know that I don't want this to be my future. So I'm going to pitch to you my idea for a major.  I'm thinking I am going to keep working on getting a Biology degree for Secondary Education and get a minor in Chemistry.   The only flaw I have found in this plan thus far is I'm going to have to face one of my worst fears ever..... CALCULUS!  
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What I'm Listening to 
Ace of Base- All that She Wants
Ace of Base- Don't Turn Around
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P.S. Isn't this just the cutest advertisement you've ever seen?  This is what I want in my life...a new pair of toms...and possibly..just a little L-O-V-E!  

My ten year plan

So after about ten meltdowns this week my mom told me I need to sit down and work out my five year plan and not to worry about anything else.  She was clear on (JUST LIMIT IT TO 5 YEARS)  Well I've worked on it quite a bit....and still have NOTHING!..Well I guess I shouldn't say nothing what do you think about my ten year plan?  (The cute boy on the left is Mr. Darcy and we are in love, behind us is the baby farm; and those are our little kidders, Hazen and Audrey...Yep in ten years from now I want to have a happy little family)  The only problem is getting through to that ten year point...Maybe Mr. Darcy won't mind I'm "UNDECIDED" about life!

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What I'm listening to

Ingrid Michaelson- Far Away

The Weepies- Hideaway

Death Cab for Cutie- Your New Twin Sized Bed

My "MAJOR" Dilemma

Do you ever feel like you're running circles???   My current search for a major has running endless circles.  For example, I like science what if I get a degree in secondary education and teach high school and then I start to think well they don't make enough money.  So then I think what if I major in exercise science and apply to grad school for PA which solves the money issue but with the cost and eight years that would require I quickly start combating against it.  So then I get thinking dental hygiene is good money and only takes two years and I already know A LOT of dental stuff, which leads me back to why I didn't keep assisting to begin with and my irrational fear of taking human anatomy and physiology and some summer classes! Which then again leads me back to thinking about teaching.... According to my mother if I don't make a decision soon I will never finish so I just need to bite the bullet and move forward...BUT what do you do when you feel this confused?  Somehow watching Cinderella as a child never prepared me for this...I always thought prince charming will be swooning in ready to carry me away to our mansion WHO thought I'd actually have to make these though decisions by myself?

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Although on another note I really love these two songs so here are the links and I think from now on I will share what I'm listening to!
Colbie Caillat- I Do
Joshua Radin-Vegetable car

Lost my major

So I may have misplaced or lost my major....I thought I had found my major, but the way classes are going this semester I might be rethinking my career path! For now I'm focused on finishing my associates and getting that big fat transfer scholarship.  I have my first chem test coming up and that will be an extremely pivotal point for me.